Choosing Your Groomsmen: No Matter What They Say, Nobody “Must” Be In the Wedding Party


Your gorgeous fiancée has already selected her bridesmaids, and now it is up to you to choose the appropriate amount of the bride’s immediate relatives and other close friends to invite to the wedding. How do you choose who will go on to the next round?

The Usual Suspects

It is important to keep in mind that regardless of what your loved ones or close friends may say, there are no individuals that “had to” be in the wedding party. Choose friends who are close to you rather than acquaintances whom you feel compelled to ask. If, on the other hand, you are not aware with the protocol surrounding weddings, here are the “normal” guidelines for adding groomsmen in a wedding party.

The brothers of both you and your wife take precedence. Your brothers and her brothers will both be in attendance at the wedding unless extraordinary circumstances prevent it (for example, if you haven’t had contact with your brother in a long time). Next, consider approaching some of your closest friends who are also responsible and, let’s be honest here, financially solid. Some of these people may even be family. Attending a wedding may be a costly endeavour, particularly if it requires travel.

The Best Man for the Job

We would want to tell you to disregard the opinions of everybody who chimes in on the selection of your best man, but we are well aware that this is not always possible. However, we will argue that you should choose the man who is both the most familiar to you and the one who has been there for you the longest. When it comes to your wedding day, you will be happy that you chose your best buddy as your attendant, regardless of whether he is a blood related or a close acquaintance.

Great Expectations

When you start asking your friends to stand up in your wedding, make careful to clarify what is expected of them before you start asking them. These are the fundamentals:

  • Transportation and lodging are included.
  • Attend the dress rehearsal as well as the meal.
  • The cost of renting a tux and shoes
  • You should go to the tuxedo fittings.
  • Participate in the organisation of the bachelor party and attend it.
  • Attendees will be seated at the wedding.
  • Proceed down the aisle in the company of a bridesmaid (maybe)
  • Perform a dance with the same attendant.
  • Donation to the wedding (an unstated prerequisite, of course!)

If this is something that your group of friends can handle, then you are in the clear.

Who Doesn’t Make It

Keep in mind that the most important day of your life requires a significant investment in both time and resources, regardless of whether or not those resources come from you. You do not want to begin your lifelong commitment with the following burdens (believe me, I’m a wife; I’m speaking from experience): pals who get too drunk, who are late for everything, and who have a reputation for not showing up for major occasions. These fellas are hardly the most ideal candidates for the role of groomsmen. If there is even the slightest possibility that your skiing pal “GanjaDaddy” will not carry out his obligations, you should definitely avoid asking him about it. Because of the terrifying accounts that we’ve heard and seen, we strongly recommend that you invite only the most responsible of your friends to join you on this once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

This does not imply that you should fill your wedding party with a lot of boring old people. You are aware of what we are referring about. Maintain a level of common sense.

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